I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry about my life...
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
