The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
