is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
