I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
