There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
