SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
