Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
