He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
is it fun? or sober?
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