It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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