you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
