We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
