My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
