So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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