Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
