11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
How's work?
Spinning.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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