At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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