Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
