dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
