Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
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