if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
