It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
