My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize