I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
