ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
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