shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
