what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
