You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I have tasted many bathrooms
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
