3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
