Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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