I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
