am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My bed smells like the plague
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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