took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
