Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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