Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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