Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am one with the molecules
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
