I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
