I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
