So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
