I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think your dad took our porno
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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