yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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