JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
