I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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