You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize