Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
