you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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