Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Oh and itβs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ππππ¬π³π
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