sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
you inspire me to be a worse person
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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