I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
