Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
