Banned from zoo.
Again?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
