I'm lost and stupid without you.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
