My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
