I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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