People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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