ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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