kristin has been a bad kristin
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
