i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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