I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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