I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
