U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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