I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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