so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
