I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
