I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
