i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
