thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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