I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
