the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
